Let me warn you, I’m about to unleash some serious anger here. I heard the stupidest thing on the radio this morning on the way to work. The exact facts as to whether this was a study that was conducted whose results were being aired, or it was some unfortunate by-product of the radio show’s work itself, have escaped me because there wasn’t enough coffee in my blood stream at the time.
Now, let me cover my behind (because after all I am in a place where you can be sued for breathing in oxygen and breathing out carbon dioxide if it comes to it):
I actually do love this show ,
They usually have good things to say,
This post is purely my opinion and mine alone ,
Now that that’s done, let’s be on our way.
(Umm.. I’m a poet and I kinda know it.)
Here is what it said today:
The worst time to break up with your significant other is in the Fall.
Why ? Here are some of the reasons that my coffee deprived brain can recollect –
1. The Holidays are coming up. (You don’t want to go to all those family gatherings by yourself now, do you ? )
2. You need someone to kiss on New Year’s eve.
3. A lot of High School reunions are in the Fall. (You don’t want to be going solo to those !)
Is your mercury rising ? Mine sure did.
There are just so many things wrong here . Let’s do this step by step –
How selfish is this!? You want to break up with someone, and you really want to use them because ’tis the season’, show them off to the lesser mortals that attend said reunion to ‘catch up’, kiss them on New Year’s Eve, and come January 1st deliver your beautifully wrapped, carefully planned, perfectly timed kick in the stomach ? Genius! You can take your pumpkin cheesecake, and stuff it.
What is wrong with being alone ? (Don’t worry. I am not single and bitter with 12 cats, but yes I do spend most of my time alone because my significant other is geographically separate at this time) . I have a huge problem with the fact that we are led to believe that alone equals sad and lonely. No. Why not alone equals confident and secure enough to go out and socialize by herself/himself ? What is wrong with facing a group of people alone? I see nothing wrong with that. You can’t expect to always have someone accompany you somewhere. I know all this is easier said than done, and just yesterday I was being whiny with all my friends for not coming to a wine tasting with me. But, I take issue with the fact that people and media are constantly reinforcing the fact that there is something fundamentally wrong in being alone. So much so, that it’s easier to settle, and be with the ‘wrong’ person, only because being alone is the only other option. Screw that! Be alone for a while! Get to know yourself, love yourself! Only then can you expect others to love you!
Are you really that insecure, that uncomfortable in your own skin, that you alone are not good enough ? And mind you, I mean you alone are not good enough for yourself ? You can only feel what you let others let you feel. So if someone whose been married 10 long ‘happy’ years decides that you are sad and lonely because you showed up solo to the reunion, sure, that is true, as long as you agree with them and let yourself feel so! Or, you could show up looking like your gorgeous and successful Teflon self, and let that roll off you – because that is who you decided you are – just you. Not you and your ‘better’ half.
I do admit that all this is really difficult and confidence takes a lot of work. But I think it’s pretty crappy to spread the message that it’s okay to ‘hold on’ to someone for a semester because you’re too dark and twisty to go to a party alone. Don’t be selfish. Grow a pair. Even if it’s the Fall, end it. And, it is difficult to go to a party alone. So if you can’t, it’s okay. Don’t go if you don’t want to face all those ‘happy’ couples. Take your time. Spend time with yourself until it feels okay again. You are not that difficult to be around, trust me.
But when you’re done, get up, and go out.
It was my first day back at work after my wedding. I’d taken a decent time off what with the crazy preparations, long overdrawn rituals and well deserved honeymoon in Italy. It had been a month almost. I had no idea what state I’d left my projects in. Usually I’d write down stuff for the sad sad day that I return from vacation, but hey, this was my first wedding (and hopefully the only one) and hence my longest ever vacation.
I didn’t want to ride my bike to work because we all know how riddled with potholes our roads are in June. So, careful not to pick anything white, I got dressed and made some tea. He got dressed too and hugged me before we sat down to tea and breakfast. Soon it was time to go. I walked him to the bus stop, smiled goodbye and hailed a rickshaw. Damn it, I forgot my scarf again. I thought about him and how much I did not know him. And how much he did not know me. And how yet, we’d decided to spend our lives together. I wasn’t in love with him yet, but I would be. Right ? My heart still belonged to my college love. But he wasn’t what fate had in store for me. He went overseas to study. I stayed back. And soon there was a wedding.
The rickshaw lurched and stalled. Yep, pothole. But this is India. People love people. So there were five men helping to push the rickshaw out to freedom and soon we were on our way. The driver looked in the rear view mirror and gave me a helpless smile. We stopped at a red light. A barely dressed woman with an unconscious child came up to me and begged for change. She was persistent. I gave her some. And then they all came. There was a stray dog amongst them too. The light turned green. We moved. This must be a good driver to wait at a red light.
Half a rollercoaster ride later we jolted to a stop. I looked at the meter, did a quick conversion in my head and paid the driver. “No change madam”.
I looked up at the tall twin skyscrapers. My first workplace since college. And probably my one and only. I was a campus recruit. Speaking of those, four very happy people came waltzing toward me. We hugged. Laughed. My friends from college. Also still here. Just like me. They were happy to see me, and me them. I found solace in familiarity.
I spent the day struggling to put together the pieces of code I’d left in the haste of my wedding, catching up with colleagues and sharing wedding sweets with them. I showed them pictures of our trip. Tomorrow I would tell them of how I got sick eating strange foreign food.
I reached home before him and started dinner. I picked out a movie we’d watch. I heard him enter the house and brought him a glass of water. We hugged and shared stories of the day. We’d be good friends soon I thought. Right ?
Who knows? This did not happen. Today’s daily prompt asks this:
Pinpoint a moment in your past where you had to make a big decision. Write about that other alternate life that could have unfolded.
This was a day in the life of the parallel universe that exists in the dimension of the alternate choice.
I did not stay back 🙂
4 out of 5 dentists recommend this WordPress.com site
Ideas and Insights from the Data Team at Automattic
Just a girl who travels.
Our kids wear collars.
Exploring American restaurants over the centuries
A pet is family, it is not a pair of shoes you return because they do not fit. Think long and hard before you get a pet.
My kind of creative
...and other things I love
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
Explore how public figures and media organizations are using Facebook in extraordinary ways.
Like literally, I'm Patti Murin.
It's all about dogs!
Musings on what I enjoy about quilting, birds, dogs and life.
Technology news, trends and analysis covering mobile, big data, cloud, science, energy and media
Let sleeping dogs lie
Adventures are better with dogs, dogs are better with adventures