It’s your birthday? Wait, let me unfriend you.

It’s no secret I have a few bones to pick with social media, and technology in general despite being born and brought up by computer science.My qualms about social media, technology, and all the various gadgets that are the evil spawn of computer science were well reinforced by my friend’s blog post on appreciation today. Look at what she has to say, it’s really cool! And don’t forget to Like Pitbull WorldWide on Facebook.

When did a chip become something other than that you dip and enjoy? When did a cookie become something non- ahoy ? And when did a tablet become something that you glare at and develop a characteristic squint, rather than something white and bitter that comes in a blue wrapping that you wash down with water to control a fever ?

It’s not all too bad though. Although I know that if it came to it, I CAN find my way from point A to point B, a part of me is thankful for that sexy lady voice that says “In one hundred feet, your destination will be on the right”. And just yesterday Retail Me Not saved me 20% at Kohls. So .. okay. It’s how the cookie crumbles, right ? Not what it stores in your browser ?

Speaking of privacy, do you ever have this feeling that you have WAY too many Facebook friends ? I do. And what’s more unfortunate is most of them are  acquaintances. Who need not know what is happening with me. Yeah I know that FB has had an “Acquaintances” list built in for a while now complete with the one privacy option that allows you to Show This to Friends Except Acquaintances. Genius. But you have to designate Random Person X as Acquaintance, and you need to have the presence of mind to do this when you accept their friend request (because face it, you are never going to go back and do it later). And THEN, FB will go ahead and tweak their settings in a small, inconspicuous manner so as to reveal ALL your deepest darkest secrets on your Timeline to said acquaintance. So, why are you airing your dirty laundry on your Timeline, you ask. I don’t. But there are enough stupid people out there who do.

Anyway, I keep straying from my point which is this – I realize that I have someone totally unnecessary on my list only when I see their birthday alert. And my brain says to me – Damn girl, why has this person got ANY insight into your life at all ? And my urge is to unfriend them. But come on, it’s their birthday! There is a good chance that they’ve already blocked all my updates anyway because MOST of them are about dogs that need rescuing, or that are up for adoption, or my own dog because he is bloody gorgeous. But what if they haven’t ? Then one day after they turned ‘old’ they won’t be seeing all these awesome updates of my oh so exciting life and realize that I unfriended them. AND they’re ‘old’. Mess, yes ?

So i’ll make a mental note to do it another day. And then like all the other notes that are mental and not on my smart phone, or my calendar this one too finds it’s way into a black hole of forgetfulness and general stupidity that comes from owning a smart phone.What makes this whole birthday thing worse is that I can’t really post a Facebook Status Update about it, even on a day when I do not see an alert, because it’s SOMEONE’s birthday that day. When you combine the probability of having atleast one birthday from among 494 people on a given day , with Murphy’s Laws, you will have pissed atleast ONE person off.

So, the list grows from 494 upwards and the trauma is endless. The social pressure builds. Do I want to break the cycle ?Would you ?

Would you unfriend someone ON THEIR BIRTHDAY ?

ADOPTABLE MIDNIGHT, horrified at the thought of unfriending someone on their birthday!

ADOPTABLE MIDNIGHT, horrified at the thought of unfriending someone on their birthday! Contact cauzicanfl@gmail.com for more information.

A 35 year old New Yorker

Last year, I asked the boy  to stop growing. Ofcourse, who ever listens when Mother says anything? So this year our boy turned 35. A lot has changed since that last birthday. Actually all three of our lives have completely changed. All of last year for us (humans) was spent in driving this change, and I have had no energy, or inspiration to keep writing, except when I want to say bad things about New York.

But change is not always bad, and the three of us are happy together. Yesterday was one such happy day, where we celebrated our boy’s 35th! We had good human friends, great puppy friends, food, wine, human and dog birthday cake. What more does one need in life?

The best part was, none of these pups had ever met each other before, but they got along swimmingly well! All the parents were a little anxious, but the anxiety melted away in no time.

All picture courtesies go to Wendy, proud mom of a beautiful chocolate lab named Grant, and my husband, K, proud new father of our old puppy!

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Humans should have cake too! Happy Birthday Dom! 

Kahlua was asked to stay until we sang “Happy Birthday”. He lasted until “..to you” of the first line. Hey, all is fair when there is cake involved! Dom waited till the song was over. She’s nice like that.

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All the pups amidst play, some resting, others scheming!

 

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Where there is a ball, there is a Lab (..or two!)

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Grant let Kahlua have this one for his birthday 🙂 

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Beautiful Stella!

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“Mother, can I has that wine while I ignore  you hugging another pup please?”

 

The pups had a great time! There is so much I am learning from co-parenting as opposed to being a single pet-mother. Maybe that is a post for another time! Kahlua loves being in a full happy family, and it shows because he sleeps a full 18 hours a day, unlike the earlier 15 back “home” in Florida.

Unfortunately we are going to lose two of our posse to the vast lands, cheaper rents, cowboy hats, freely available arms, and other general southern niceness of Texas.

We will miss you Jake and Stella 😦

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Everything is big in Texas, except our little Jake and Stella!

Another year, another puppy party! Hoping for many many more to come.

My torrid affair with Blogger’s Block.

I’ve had no real thoughts lately. And the Daily Prompt is on a hiatus. Which means there has been no single, sudden, out of context, unexpected non dog post for my usual dog readers. You know, like this one, or this one or.. wait now you know I’m just trying to cheat and make you read my old posts.

I was reading this great post yesterday about how regular feature posts establish a strong audience. There is good advice to do something with or without alliterations each week like “Snarky Sunday” or “<<cannot think outside of alliterations title>>” . I thought to myself how true this is and how badly I am failing. So while my affair with the Blogger’s Block is not as torrid as I make it seem, I wanted to find a way to end it (for now).

I hit upon Five Posts to Write Right Now and can you imagine my horror when I couldn’t find anything that spoke to me ? Fortunately, sitting quietly in the first paragraph of Five Posts was Nothing to Write. And it explained how to make a list of ideas you think would not make good posts, to get the ideas out of your head, pick one idea that you connect with the most, and run with it. And I loved it! Because now I present to you a well thought of list, of absolutely random things. No picking one idea and running, just a list, of complete randomness.

1. What brought upon the recent Supreme Court Ruling in India to recognize eunuchs as a third gender ? [I am all for it and I also realize I could paste this very same thing into Google and get my answers. I just have not.]

2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is ambrosia.

3. Stacey is incredibly incredibly selfish in recruiting Owen as her sperm donor seeing as how he is her best friend’s ex-fiance. What when down between Jane and Owen and whether or not, Jane is in love with Grayson is absolutely not the point. Friendship comes first. Sperm donors later. Oh.. you have NO idea what I’m talking about ? Watch Drop Dead Diva. I do realize how one of my sentences is a pun here.

4. I can see how I am very Black and White and how the world doesn’t always work this way.

5. Stealing this one from Nothing to Write: I wish clothing manufacturers would put pockets in women’s pants. Also, a scene from The Office comes to mind where Michael is wearing a women’s suit.

6. I might want to elaborate on the whole Stacey and Jane situation in a post called Friendships but it might end up being too controversial and only reinforce the fact that I only really love my Dog.

7. Every TV show has a cheese that goes well with it.

8. If you’re now thinking that I have a best friend who stole my ex fiance for sperm, you’re wrong.

They’re both dead.

And that was it! Hopefully this will lift the curse of silence that the Blogging Gods have bestowed upon me.

Cemetery

Today’s daily prompt asks this :

What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?

Cemetery.

You’re thinking I’m either gruesome or retarded or gruesomely retarded. Well, you’re mostly right wrong. I just can’t spell, that’s all.

My friend and I were playing Draw Something and his work of art constituted a bunch of tombstones saying ‘RIP’ much like a home-horror-movie gone wrong (haha we aren’t the best artists!). So I thought, yeah I know this, its Ceme.. Cem.. wait what ? Why aren’t the little boxes matching up in number to C-E-M-E-T-R-Y! Because, idiot, you can’t spell.

<<Goes to google.com>>

<<Types C-E-M>>

Yes, autofill. I love you.

C-E-M-E-T-E-R-Y.

Drawsome!

And, I learnt something today. Something that I should have learned in third grade.

Time and Tide..

Today’s daily prompt asks this:

For a moment today, time stands still — but you can tweak one thing while it’s stopped. What do you do?

Here is the thing. To achieve what I want to achieve in this one moment, I need more than just one moment. So I am going to use this one moment to make time stand still for another moment and be all recursive about this so that I can do what I’ve been ignoring for a while now.

Laundry.

This is a serious problem. I’ve always had it. A normal sight at my home is piles of clothes lying around only to be picked up and shoved behind the closet’s ever-bursting doors when someone threatens to come over.

Don’t get me wrong, I am indeed always wearing clean clothes. It’s just that I have way too many. (Something about having a cluttered environment meaning that you have a cluttered brain comes to mind.. ) And I wash only one load at a time, picking the most urgent garments. So there are always unwashed ones lying around. I live in this interesting universe where clean and dirty clothes peacefully coexist at all times.

Occasionally a sock or two will disappear. My dogs have only that much resistance to temptation. I think doing laundry is the worst kind of manual labor. It is the most vile way in which a human being can spend their time. I think there should be some magic machine in which you put your clothes and let them spin for a while and they come out clean. Oh wait..

Well..There should be some magic elves that come around and put your clothes in this magic machine where if you put your clothes and let them spin for a while and they come out clean.

The title is a cheap play of words on Time because of the context of  the daily post, and Tide because it is a detergent. They say the worst kind of joke is one that you need to explain. Nailed it!

You make me wanna throw up, lol jk.

Today’s Daily Prompt asks this:

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

I say, “Lol”. And no, not jk. This new addition to our daily oxford makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I hate it. I thought this hatered used to be inexplicable, but it’s not! And here is why – A lot of lol users use it to get away with writing something mean. Here is an example – Someone posts a picture and say they’re donning a little holiday weight. Lol user comes along and posts their comment – “Stopped hitting  the gym I see Lol”.. Hmm… lol is not a buzzword to make a passive aggressive remark, all happy again.

Of course this is not always the case. There are the more benign uses of lol. Many of my friends use it, and I love them anyway, because their lols are harmless. They are probably actually Laughing Out Loud at something that should be laughed out loud at! Plus the holiday weight situation will be dealt with in a straight up manner. Like it should be. Maybe with a glass of wine, lol! (Sometimes, I disgust myself)

And do not get me started on the extended cousins of lol – Lmao, rotflol, lol jk (absolute worst I can hear the milk curdling use of lol).

Just a smiley face will do. Press the shift and the ‘;’ (semicolon) key simultaneously. Then press the Shift and the 0 (zero) key simultaneously and voila! No more lol needed.

 

Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill, Mild, Medium, Hot and Very Hot

Today’s daily prompt asks this :

If you could get all the nutrition you needed in a day with a pill — no worrying about what to eat, no food preparation — would you do it?

My answer – Hell No! If you think I eat for Nutrition, you don’t know me 🙂

Ok, I usually try and be good about nutrition too and I don’t only eat stuff that will clog my major arteries, and my dog walks me a decent amount so yes, I’m not killing myself by only eating happy.

But come on, I need my cheesecakes, my chocolates, my chocolate cheesecakes, my red wine and my zinfandel along with my broccoli, spinach, mushrooms, grilled meats and fruits.

We have taste buds for a reason! Each person has between 5,000 and 10,000 and I like to think i’m in that 10,000 area (or I’m just greedy for good food, and proud of it). One of my closest friends says, America’s greatest gifts to her are Southern Ice-d Tea and Chicken Wings. I think that’s why we are friends. Do you really think that Red or Blue pills could come close to comparing with Hot, Mild, Very Hot, Caribbean Jerk, Asian Zing, Garlic Parmesan, Teriyaki or Honey BBQ ? I don’t.

And what about cheese ? Let’s not go there because I’m hungry already.

The bottom line is, I will take a pill when my head hurts, or I’m burning up with fever, not to rob myself of the pleasures of good food. I was made to enjoy good food, and my body is made to break down food and process it in a certain way and provide nutrients to my blood.

I don’t think we humans should be so narcissistic as to think we can sum up all the complex bodily processes associated with eating, digesting and absorbing nutrients, in a Red or Blue pill.