Let me warn you, I’m about to unleash some serious anger here. I heard the stupidest thing on the radio this morning on the way to work. The exact facts as to whether this was a study that was conducted whose results were being aired, or it was some unfortunate by-product of the radio show’s work itself, have escaped me because there wasn’t enough coffee in my blood stream at the time.
Now, let me cover my behind (because after all I am in a place where you can be sued for breathing in oxygen and breathing out carbon dioxide if it comes to it):
I actually do love this show ,
They usually have good things to say,
This post is purely my opinion and mine alone ,
Now that that’s done, let’s be on our way.
(Umm.. I’m a poet and I kinda know it.)
Here is what it said today:
The worst time to break up with your significant other is in the Fall.
Why ? Here are some of the reasons that my coffee deprived brain can recollect –
1. The Holidays are coming up. (You don’t want to go to all those family gatherings by yourself now, do you ? )
2. You need someone to kiss on New Year’s eve.
3. A lot of High School reunions are in the Fall. (You don’t want to be going solo to those !)
Is your mercury rising ? Mine sure did.
There are just so many things wrong here . Let’s do this step by step –
How selfish is this!? You want to break up with someone, and you really want to use them because ’tis the season’, show them off to the lesser mortals that attend said reunion to ‘catch up’, kiss them on New Year’s Eve, and come January 1st deliver your beautifully wrapped, carefully planned, perfectly timed kick in the stomach ? Genius! You can take your pumpkin cheesecake, and stuff it.
What is wrong with being alone ? (Don’t worry. I am not single and bitter with 12 cats, but yes I do spend most of my time alone because my significant other is geographically separate at this time) . I have a huge problem with the fact that we are led to believe that alone equals sad and lonely. No. Why not alone equals confident and secure enough to go out and socialize by herself/himself ? What is wrong with facing a group of people alone? I see nothing wrong with that. You can’t expect to always have someone accompany you somewhere. I know all this is easier said than done, and just yesterday I was being whiny with all my friends for not coming to a wine tasting with me. But, I take issue with the fact that people and media are constantly reinforcing the fact that there is something fundamentally wrong in being alone. So much so, that it’s easier to settle, and be with the ‘wrong’ person, only because being alone is the only other option. Screw that! Be alone for a while! Get to know yourself, love yourself! Only then can you expect others to love you!
Are you really that insecure, that uncomfortable in your own skin, that you alone are not good enough ? And mind you, I mean you alone are not good enough for yourself ? You can only feel what you let others let you feel. So if someone whose been married 10 long ‘happy’ years decides that you are sad and lonely because you showed up solo to the reunion, sure, that is true, as long as you agree with them and let yourself feel so! Or, you could show up looking like your gorgeous and successful Teflon self, and let that roll off you – because that is who you decided you are – just you. Not you and your ‘better’ half.
I do admit that all this is really difficult and confidence takes a lot of work. But I think it’s pretty crappy to spread the message that it’s okay to ‘hold on’ to someone for a semester because you’re too dark and twisty to go to a party alone. Don’t be selfish. Grow a pair. Even if it’s the Fall, end it. And, it is difficult to go to a party alone. So if you can’t, it’s okay. Don’t go if you don’t want to face all those ‘happy’ couples. Take your time. Spend time with yourself until it feels okay again. You are not that difficult to be around, trust me.
But when you’re done, get up, and go out.